I have 3 kids and my eldest accuses me of being a slave driver or having kids so I can have slaves, well actually yes. My eldest who is turning 13 in march is on the onset of getting into the annoying teenager mode and I, his annoying mom.
My issues with my son is learning to be responsible, which is something i so believe will help him when he grows up ( and me too so i won’t have too much wrinkles worrying about him) and without his loving parents to guide him.
I adapted a rewards system before when my friend (who has 7 children) mentioned he made a similar system with the Citibank rewards to bring order to his Father Abraham household so, i thought it might work with me 2 kids too.
And it did, now i have to bring it back again with a little tweaking. The rewards system is basically a way to form good habits, it has to be age specific and towards the values you want them to learn. You also put some ground rules on who else can put merit and demerit, I also empowered my help by putting scores when my kids are bullying them.
I print a monthly rewards list and then compute them every month and asked them if they want to redeemed. It also teaches them emotional intelligence on trying to save stuff to get the big reward. A big plus is you don’t need to buy toys all the time.